Sqdms~
I'm very sorry for what happened at Kbox today, I know it was very uncalled for and unexpected and I'm even more sorry I left it unexplained... The thing is that I don't know how to tell you all the reason behind it, and if I try to talk about it I'll feel worse and even if I tell you all I don't think you'll really understand unless you jing1 li4 before.
I'm really very very sorry k it was supposed to be a happy event but I ruined the mood, some more it's our last squad Kbox before we POP:( I'm sorry you all had to see a weak me and to see me break down because I really couldn't stand it I couldn't force a strong front anymore... and I swear this is the first time I cried so hard ever since CT Finals. I thought I got numb because this thing happened about a month ago already but I'm really not numb enough yet no matter how hard I'm trying.
Sqdms thank you for the concern even though I couldn't stop crying, I really appreciate you all but sqdms are good enough a natural cure, just that some things take longer to cure because the impact is too great and the hurt is too deep. No matter what, thank you for being funny and gay, for the hugs, for wiping away my tears and just staying with me to make sure I was okay. And I love you all I really do and nobody can replace sqdms and as the saying goes, "squadmateship never sinks".
Rest assured sqdms I will do my best not to break down again (so AA/unglam/embarrassing...) and I must and will get stronger and move on with my life. Don't worry k just remember my name, I will be strong:) Unfortunately time doesn't heal, but maybe over time I will either forget some things and become numb-er or just slowly get used to this kind of dabian-ish feeling.
Love, you-know-which-sqdm
(and I love you sqdms)
!
