We all ought to be more perceptive.
It's as if we have one foot in the past and one foot trying to get out of this sticky mess. On Friday it was an observation that had some symbolic value to it - but it doesn't mean anything. Half of the unit was in PT kit and the other half was in PE shirt and trackpants, and yes, reiterating my point - it doesn't mean anything - but I can't help but realise that the half wearing PT kit is the half that has experienced DALT, and the old ways.
Technically, the old ways perhaps ended before we even entered the scene, but somehow.. Anyway it is obvious how things have changed, 39 ma'ams were the last batch of ma'ams who experienced an ATC with all the crazy elements like changing parades, and I once overheard a conversation between Ms Khoo and ma'ams, with Ms Khoo wanting us to be in the shade and ma'ams insisting that last time it was like that.
I used to dislike the barrier greatly and all the traditions, I didn't understand why we had to keep them but now I'm beginning to understand the significance of what NP does. In the past we wanted to make drastic changes, to be 'nice' but now I see what discipline is and how it is lacking in many of the things we do and I think many of us what to be the ones to enforce that discipline too.
Of course, how can we enforce discipline and set expectations when we have not surpassed or even met the said expectations ourselves? I don't know how to answer that question. It's all very abstract and idealistic, and I honestly am uncertain of whether or not in can even materialise. It's like what ma'am said before, how could we expect a GOLD from the Unit if we don't even have the basic standards?
I suppose it's because we're all too immature that we need strict measures. We can't practice and impose self regulation upon ourselves, and we need that discipline.
I don't know. It's like we're the ones at the end of the line. DALT ends with us I suppose, and we still have to continue to the end, remember dragon performance for New Year? Yeah.
We used to be so enthusiastic about gu when we first started, when we first knew that we were embarking on this new project. But those who made the decision didn't really plan for how everything would clash, and it so happens that everything is clashing. It's the first time I suppose that NP interests are starting to conflict with DALT interests: for the sake of the gu comp, we were supposed to have trainings on Thursdays and Fridays, but soon parade rehearsals and O:O have taken precedence. So what are we to do now? Obviously the choice has been made for us; as NP cadets, our first and foremost priority is meant to be NP. What of DALT, then?
It's not that we are unwilling; we are, given enough time. But why are we made to choose, to hover? Why are we required to split ourselves to two CCAs, when the package came only with one? How could such a decision be made, with the adminstration and powers that be seeking for an increment in training time and greater focus for NP and yet wanting to keep DALT alive? It's unreasonable and unfair to us. No matter how much we would like to keep either, the balance is going very wrong.
DALT used to be fun because the entire Unit was in it. But now, the only ones left in DALT are us and our NCOs. There's no more sense of pride for what we are doing, because.. because I, at least, don't feel that passion. There's no motivation to push forth, because our training regime is being completely screwed up. There are no set goals in mind, and our standard is lacking greatly. I don't know what's been happening, but it seems like all we learnt last year, all we truly learnt was at the end of the year. Thinking back upon 2008 DALT, the only skills we acquired were constant revision of ba4, and an introduction to shi1, which we were unable to perfect. By this time, we should have completed our entire DALT syllabus with only gu3 left. But what of it? We haven't even completed long2.
Last year, DALT was depressing because many times we were sent down to the carpark to play ba4 on our own with no guidance. The lack of direction that seemed to be has unwittingly continued. I mean, it wasn't anyone's fault, it's just the way it is, but its impact has already been felt.
If we are such complete failures at it, why do we still want to continue? Why not make a clean break?
Perhaps we really should prioritise: if a decent standard is to be upkept, we should dedicate one day to DALT and one day to NP. It should be non-negotiable. But then, what would happen to NP? Our cadets, when we take over, and our own standard? Sorely lacking.
So, so screwed. Am I mistaken in saying this?
The decision should be clean and neat; either a clear-cut and complete separation from DALT or the remerging of NP and DALT as one CCA. If a consensus can't be reached, the simplest option would be a clean break. It's unfair to the generations of ma'ams who have worked so hard to build up DALT, who have established this renowned history, but if we are not supported, if we are not given any aid in achieving this goal of saving our heritage, then what are we to do?
DALT has indeed been useful. Without DALT, we wouldn't have known to ask to help ma'ams carry things, to run around (which we hardly do anymore), to cheer loudly when running, to take initiative to start cheers for the whole Unit, to jiayou, that sense of everyone pushing forth together, doing PT together, it's all gone. I remember the chaos at doing "combined squad kekanan lurus" it was so frightening. And the dozens of "semula"s.. It really did help. The worst scoldings we got in Sec 1were mainly from DALT, and it was from DALT that we gained the most discipline, I feel. They really do help.
I wanted to say much more but I drifted off track. And I apologise for bad grammar.
Esther.
!
