Sometimes you just can't think things the logical way. it doesnt mean that if u can, u would.

its like someone buying you an extremely expensive but ugly necklace and asks u to wear it once. rationally, since the person spent so much money to buy that necklace and it wouldnt kill u to wear it, like y not? thats what i'd think if i was being rational... but sometimes, things arent rational... if i was given the necklace now, i would think haha ya thx but i didnt want it and i obviously dun wan this... even if i can, i dun want to...

its sort of morals vs. truth... its wrong since the money is already spent and we should put in our best, but the truth is, there is seriously no point in it no matter what... its wrong since we are part of it and we should be doing it wholeheartedly, but the truth is, there are other things that we want to do... i knw that if we gave it our all, and do our best for everything that we hav now, it would most probably turn out fine... seriously... but thats just not it.

we are supposed to go for it and gain experience... thats the aim of the competition but whats with the experience? its not something we need, its something they need. we're sacrificing the time that we hav, to make them succeed... as in, its not that i think we shouldnt help, but like, if we had the time, it would be okay, but we dun... and if its only to gain experience, i think that going to watch is already gd enough an experience... joining a comp after merely half a yr with inconsistent trainings is seriously ridiculous...

and when we had the time to train, the ones that werent there were the people that we were working hard for... to me, its seriously not a matter of whether u can or not... this experience is not something we need after this, its something that they need, and we are just there to complete the picture... if they need ten pieces to finish up that puzzle, then we are there to provide the ten pieces... we're readily available...

its like we're holding on to water... if we dun hold it tight enough, it will just flow away, but if we hold tight enough, the heat will still make it evaporate... whether the fast way or slow way, by the time u knw it, nothing is left but the memories that it was once there...

it used to be so much fun last time... it was something to look forward and it taught us more than what one can see... but now, its like we're desperately grabbing on to what is left of it, knowing that it will die soon enough, and even if it doesnt, it shouldnt hav anything to do with us since the day it decided to be two separates...

in the first place when we wanted to continue dragon and lion dance, we didnt expect there to be no dragon or lion... and just drums... we are being left hanging there... its true that we're still there, but we arent exactly part of it? we're not their priority... and i dun see y they, in turn, should be ours...

its a moral thing to pull through to the end... at least after this one... but yes... its a moral thing... to me, heck moral man... i've got better things to do... but then again, it doesnt really concern me since im not one of the pieces for now...

but the advice is still do it till the end.

its a moral thing.

-jjxD